My cousin is always watching Everybody Loves Raymond in the other room while I’m on the computer. I always hear Raymond’s voice. His deep, throaty voice, like a hungover toad. It’s very unique. Sometimes I continue to hear the thick grog of Ray Romano long after the television is off. Ray tells me things. Ray tells me horrible, horrible things. And I listen.
HOW TO PICK UP GIRLS IN 3 EASY STEPS
STEP 1: purposefully bump into girl(make sure you are typing into your calculator while doing this)
STEP 2: say “im sorry. i didnt you, i was taking inventory of all my lizards”
STEP 3: make sure she sees the number 42069666 on the screen